I Was Meaning To Send To You

the time was about 4:00 am. where had i been? somewhere deep in this shallow head thinking friends could stay friends and beds could be beds. Somewhere on the gigantic ocean, floating softly to the music pulsing from my headphones. here comes five o-clock. here comes "hope i don't wake up". here comes me mumbling, you stumbling, time running, school in the morning and yeah, you're a fucking piece of shit too. you know, i bet they make robots worth more trust than your trust. i bet they sell airplanes to fly me ten, maybe twenty times higher than your highs and your lighters and your merchandise from under your counters. put that fucking shit back, you doped up fucking slave driver. keep your hands out of my goddamn pockets.

my miserable is easily put aside for your short temper and furious eyes. how much is my mouth shut? how much is my say worth? how much of that is MY buck? and how do you transcend your standards but lay those same on everyone else, below their belts?

so here it is, he said "don't worry brother! i got this shit for free. i couldn't possibly make you pay me. and no man, you won't have to pay me back, your pay is the fun that i'll have."


so then the next week, "yes, i will lend you ten dollars but only if it is not going towards drugs."
"no, oh well i have to pay someone back and they will be pissed if i don't. i really need the money, if you can get it."

that night "yeah i can sell you a whole one for six."

so three minutes later "i'm taking half of this becuase i gave you tons of free drugs last week"
"ok, that's understandable, but give me a dollar so i can have enough for substantial amount of gas"
"what the fuck! [i'm a whiny bitch] you are asking me for a dollar? after everything i fucking do for you?? [i am a greedy asshole]"

so then five minutes later "man, i don;t ask anything from anyone. i help out my friends because i am, able to. plus i don't have to pay for anything i get, so i might as well share it."

so then the next sentence "yo, you're gonna give me that other hit of acid. i give you tons of free acid. even though that shit won't be HALF as good as what i get."

so the rest of the night was me backing down. handing out my money like a fucking welfare institution. this little bastard is so tied up in his chemicals, he begs you, and prods you, and pokes you, and assaults you, and bashes you in, until he gets what he wants, only to satisfy him for six more minutes. the rest of the night spent listening to how great his product can be, guaranteed to flip ya. in the same boat, my products are high priced for the kick, not the flip. you flip this shit just to compensate for the little dick. i try new things because i am not scared of what i might get.

the rest of my time spent belittled and sarcasted. fuck you for your drug doses and your expensive plastics.

so then before i left "you only put in five dollars [which i cried to you for becuase again, i am a pussy bitch] and i put in ten. you aren't getting anything out of this bag."

hey you fucking drug face, get your goddamn hands out of my pockets.